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• U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of ur emai id !

• I wish you were here with me, I wish I was there with you, but most of all I wish I didn't have to wish for you!

• If u r in luv, accept it, respect it & njoy it. But if u r not, then don't worry coz sumone, sumwhere must b wrapping up so much luv for u

• Believe it or not, a true friend scolds like a dad, cares like a mom, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother & luvs more than a lover

• If u Love someone then add some wings to ur Love. After having wings if it still decide to stay with u, then it's a True Luv

• Don't luv the luv unless the luv luvs u & if the luv luvs u, luv the luv in such a way that it doesn't luv anybody else!

• In life, do the Ordinary God'll do the Extraordinary; Do the Natural God'll do the Supernatural; Do the Possible & God'll do the Impossible

• A Friend's Luv says: If U ever need anything, I'll be there.

True Luv says: U'll never need anything, I'll be there

• Take my hand & lead me from this place. Chase away my doubts & fears, wipe the tears off from my face. I can't stand-alone; I need ur hand to hold

• The human brain is most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hrs, 365 days; it functions right from the time u were born until u fall in luv

• My heart problem has reached a critical stage that doctor says there are only 2 options left....I.C.U or......U C me

• We are close enough to tell each other what we feel about our relationship. I can sum up our relationship in those three words: U R Lucky

• A true friend is not like the rain which pours & goes away. A true friend is like the air. Sometimes silent but always around u. Gud Morning

• Few Relations In Earth Never Die. Wanna know wht is it?

(F)ew

(R)elations

(I)n

(E)arth

(N)ever

(D)ie

• Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless

• God has given us two gifts; One is choice & another is chance. Choice is to select a gud friend & chance is to have a best one like U

• The words that escape a friend's mouth r: I'll be there when u say u need me.

But the words that r unheard from a true friend's heart r: I'll be there... whether u say u need me or not

• If time slips away without a word from me, U don't hv 2 worry about our friendship coz feelings, beyond words, will always keep me AROUND!

• Every morning when I open my eyes I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like u.Why should only I suffer!

• Friendship is about bringing out the +ve when everything seems -ve, being accepted for who u r, being able to pick up right where u left off, sharing, talking & laughing. Friendship is about us & for that I'm gr8ful

• Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some1 to lean on, coz I'm a friend u can always depend on

• If ur friendship be money, I'll be richest man. If ur friendship be pounds, I'll be heaviest man. If ur friendship be luv, I'll be luckiest man. But ur friendship is trust & I'm the happiest man

• Friendship never speaks volumes, it never demands proof, it never has a happy ending too simply coz it doesn't end as long as friends r true, just like U!

• Medicines and friendships cure our problems. The only difference is that friendships don't have an expiry date.

• Last night I dreamt that I was walking with God n I told him that I've a friend like u. He smiled n said: Beta, sab pichle janam k paap hain

• Friends r like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold u up, sometimes u lean on them. But sometimes, it’s enough to know they are just standing by. Gud Morning

• Sitting in the loo, thinking about u.. I'm passim this msg to you so that even you know what I feel 4 you. Friend, life is shit without YOU !

• Hum aap ko itna yaad kartey hain jitna aap hame yaad kartey hain. Farq sirf itna hai ke hum yaad karke SMS kartey hain aap SMS parh kar Yaad kartey hain

• Friendship is needless, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

• Friendship is a language spoken by heart... not written on paper, not given by pledge... it is a promise renewed every time we meet. Keep in touch

• Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?

To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !

• Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman

After Marriage: Gentleman

After 10 years: Watchman

After 20 years: Doberman

• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

• How Dogs and Women are alike?

Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put too much value on kissing

• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything

and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.

A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

• Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.

Doctor: How do u figure that?

Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wet

• A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful.

Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don’t hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say it hurts

• Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms ideal for fuckers who dont know when to pull out

• Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?

A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.

• Sex poetry: It's not the length, it's not the size, it's not how many times u can make it rise. It's not how well it fits, but how late it spits

• Skoda recently launched a new car model LAURA. All drivers are having a tough time when theor Memsahibs say: Driver Laura Nikalo!

• Kamra khushboo naal sajai baithe han, bed te navi chaddar bichayee baithe han,

Saadi deewangi tan dekho ohna ne raati auna hai te asi duphar de hi condom charai baithe han

• The first day at the London sperm bank was pretty unsuccessful. Only three men made appointments and, of those, one came on the bus and the other two missed the tube.

• All eggs in women decided to fight against sperms. They waited with guns in the pussy. That night no one came. Suddenly 1 shouted: Hamla Peeche se hua hai...

• What is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u insert it into a wet, hairy & tight hole makes u feel better?

Vicks Inhaler

• When u don't know whether to luv or hate, when u r in confused state, don't feel and don't debate, just sit alone & ...... MASTURBATE

• Whenever u feel low, depressed or useless, remember that u r the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.

• Cricketer describing a nude girl:

There is no cover, there is no extra cover, there 2 silly points, 2 fine legs & a deep gully, with little grass on the pitch.

• What is invisible sex?

A male Negro fucking a female Negro under moonless night in a coal mine wearing a black condom.

• A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. You r like a penis coz it always stands when needed.

• Hum Gire Hue ko Uthate hai,

Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai,

In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain.

• 70 yr old man: Doc meri age mein sex style kyo hona chahiye?

Doc: Doggy style.

Man: Aapke matlab peeche se…?

Doc: Nahin, sirf soongh aur chaat.

• Happiness is like penis; always looks small if u hold it in ur hands but when u learn to share it, u'll realize how big & precious it is!

• Man: Kiss Karun?

Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.

Man: Boob dabaun.?

Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?

Man: Fuck?

Gal: Period me hun.?

Man: Don't say loose motions hai.

• Women r the best Engines: Accepts any size of Piston, are self Lubricating, start up with a Finger, automatic oil change every 4 week.

• Badi hasrat thi ki kholein unki salwaar ka nara,

Sanam ki berukhi dekho ki nangey hi chale aye, Wah wah wah

• Kashti toofan se nikal sakti hai,

Taqdeer kisi bhi waqt bhi badal sakti hai,

Hausla rakh, channel na badal,

SANIA MIRZA kisi bhi waqt Jhuk sakti hai

• Ansoo tere nikale to aankhein meri ho,

Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,

Khuda kare ki apni dosti itni gehari ho,

Baap tu bane to Mehanat meri ho!

• Kya aap SEX karte hai,

Kya aap CONDOM use karte hain,

Kya aap AIDS se darte hai,

To aap HATH se Q nahi karte hai,

HATH chale to AIDS tale.

• Door gaon mein ek basti thi,

Wahan ki ladkiyan bahut sasti thi,

Unki ga#d mein itni masti thi,

Jitna dalo utna hasti thi.,

But why r u smiling?

• Mangta hoon to deti nahin ho: JAWAB MERI BAAT KA

Deti ho to khada ho jata hai: ROM-ROM JAZBAAT KA

Kyon bolti ho ke dheere se daalo: BALON MAIN PHOOL GULAB KA.

• Arz kiya hai:

I am a dog and u r a flower,

gaur farmaiega I am a dog and u r a flower,

so let me lift my leg n give u a shower!

• Paro aur chandramuki ka noor app pe barse, har koi aapke sath sone ko tarse,

aapke jeevan me aaye itni ladkiyan,

ki app CHADDI pahen ne ko tarse.

• On their first night:

Husband: Is it really ur first night?

Wife: No... No...Actually it is first time at night.

• Woman was having pain during delivery. Husband prayed: Oh Lord! Please make it lose for the Baby and then tight for the Daddy

• Doc: Reports have got mixed up. I don't know if ur wife has AIDS or Alzheimer

Man: What shld I do?

Doc: Drop her in the middle of town, if she comes back DON'T FUCK

• The groom stood naked in front of the mirror:

2 inches more & I'd be a king

Bride: Yes, 2 inches less & you'd be a Queen

• What is the difference between cheating ur wife and cheating on the taxman?

If u get caught, the taxman still want to screw you.

• A frustrated father's defensive reply in a sms msg to his offensive unruly son... I should have wasted u in the bathroom!

• One lady delivered twins, surprisingly one is boy & other is dog... How is it possible?

Her hubby is a hutch user... Wherever he goes his Network follows.

• Dentist didn’t get erection on wedding night so he used finger. Wife: What's this?

Nothing honey, just a temporary filling

• Wife n Mobile:

1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai.

2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai.

3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai.

• Husband: I fancy kinky sex, how about I cum in ur ear?

Wife: No, I might go deaf!

Husband: I’ve been cumin in ur mouth 4 15yrs & u r still fuckin talking.

• Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine apse shaadi is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye.

• 'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven. 'One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.'

• Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?

Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.

• Q: What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?

A: They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.

• Q: Why does a woman have two pair of lips?

A: One is for fighting and one is to make up.

• Lady 2 Maid: Tu saare kaam mein bekaar hai!

Bai: Bister mein to aap se aachi hoon!

Lady: Tujhe sab ne bola kya?

Bai: Nahin, driver bol raha tha!

• A man kills a deer & cooks it but doesn't tell kids what it is.

He gives a clue: It's what mom calls me.

Boy cries out: Don’t eat it. It's a fucking asshole.

• Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai.

Husband: Kya hua?

Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.

• Son kills a butterfly.

Dad: No butter for 2 weeks.

Son kills a honeybee.

Dad: No honey for 2 weeks.

Mom kills a cockroach.

Son: Dad u tell her or should I?

• Man: Bless me God! My son is drug addict, my daughter is a call girl, my wife is a gambler.

God: Is anything +ve in ur family?

Man: I’m HIV positive.

• Unborn twins in the mother’s stomach saw a penis.

1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai.

2nd: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante.

• Rosemary divorced Mr.Lele b'coz she was sick of telling her name,"Roz Meri Lele."

Imagine her tough luck, she was re-married to Mr. Marlow

• Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.

Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusengey?

• Description of prostitute, wife & girlfriend in mobile language?

First one is prepaid, second is postpaid and the last one is democard.

• Man 2 wife on wedding night: R u sure that I'm the 1st man you have slept with?

Wife: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others.

• Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.

• Playboy has started a special edition 4 married men. The same woman is featured every month.

• A doc advising his patient who had a heart attack: No smoking, no drinking & hv sex only with ur wife because it is important that you avoid excitement.

• Ek bahu saari raat paraaye mard ke saath sokar aayi lekin uski saas ne kuch nahin kaha, why?

Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!

• What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when g/f is pregnant & panic is when both r pregnant.